Category: Relative Poison

Let it all be done

My Nan will be moving into a senior citizen home come the first of the month.  It is a place where other seniors can hang out.  The village she currently lives in is sort of like that but she doesn’t really interact with anyone.  For over thirty years she rarely spoke to my father and no she thinks that he will drop everything to help her.  She called me on Monday, she wanted me to call my Dad and give him the message that Nov. 1st is the date.  While she was on the phone Evelyn was crying and I told/shouted that I couldn’t phone him.  She would have to do it.  The same excuse every single time came up,  “He’ll be at work.”  I fire back with, “leave a message!!!”  For the past 25 years message machines have been in existence.  Get this she had left me a message just 20 minutes before.  I then remembered that she is lazy and doesn’t want to do it.  I had told her that Dad cannot fly out to her again.  Money is tight, and he is working.  She has never offered once to pay him.  I told her that if she needs him that she needs to arrange for a ticket.  She can have the solicitor help but she won’t do it.

A while ago she had asked me if there was anything of hers that I wanted.  In their home for as long as I can remember there was a painting.  I asked if I could have it and she had said yes.  Now this painting is becoming a contested item.  The last time my Dad was over she said she wanted to take it with her.  That is fine with me, she can burn it for all I care.  However, today she mentioned, “well your dad has to come over to get the painting.”  I said, “Dad will be in Atlanta the first week of November. You can send it[the painting] through the mail, the solicitor can help you, the people coming to organize your furniture can help you.”  Again the bullshit, “I’m too old!  Can’t get it weighed.”  Then I got this gem, “Don’t be so demanding, my head is funny I can’t take it!”

I calmly tell her, “I’m trying to help you.”  She asked about her jewellery and I mentioned that Neil might like to have granddads wedding band and pocket watch.  “I’ll just sell it and give him the money.”  This is her stock answer.  She is not really interested in an answer to question she asks.  Kind of like someone who asks for advice but never takes it, (Why the Fuck do you ask then!  Have a bloody conversation with a mirror!!!)

I was able to tell her that British daylight savings ends this Sunday since she had no clue. Last week I sent some monogrammed envelopes and stationary to her so she could write. I asked if she had gotten my package and she said yes but she wasn’t very pleased. She said she would just phone people to tell them her new address and perhaps write Christmas cards for the others.  Lindylu44 wrote about not wanting to be labeled and I can empathize.  I am the only one that writes her letters or phones I even send her pictures.  I do this not out of fear of punishment or want of reward but because I believe it is right. Yet despite this my Nan has a go at me!  (I not respecting my elders, and why don’t I live closer to help) I can’t believe that I have let her get me this upset. Let October be over and let it all be done.


July Recap

So July was mixture of things, good things, funny things, whiskey tango foxtrot things.  My Dad had his gallbladder removed early in the month and since his wife was on call at the hospital I was a back-up. Just to make sure he took his pain medication and carried no fever or other sign of infection.  It was the first time I had ever spent the night away from Evelyn since she was born.   I have been away from Sean and all of those were hospital admittances.

After carefully weighing our options we sold the Tardis. CarMax was a great experience and the Tardis didn’t stay on the lot a week until someone bought it.  I truly hope that the Tardis is giving some young teenager or a new family some joy. For us Galactica is now our primary vehicle.

I came home one day and found a Scorpion in our kitchen sink.  Yes I did type scorpion not spider. Bugs on a whole don’t weird me out, don’t get me wrong if they were in my bed I would freak but on the most part I can deal with them.  Scorpions are tough suckers!  I don’t own boots so I couldn’t smash it and if it was a pregnant female smashing them causes the babies to run out.  Get this you cannot drown them, they can survive in pools.  This thing rivals the Xenomorph running around the Nostromo!  So I sprayed it with bleach cleaner it squirmed for a bit before dying and then I could get rid of it.

My children continue to surprise me and I know that sounds cliche but it is true!  They are so different and the same but the difference on this particular day reminded me of that nursery rhyme of Jack Sprat. However, in my universe it goes

Evelyn Claire could eat no pasta and Sean James could eat no beans.  Between the two they picked the plate clean

I had my six month surveillance by my GP as instructed by the genetic counselors and all seems well.  My GP is actually going to send my case to the radiology department for their input.  According to him I am in the weird age bracket where there are a whole host of opinions of what to do.  So he is going to get the radiologists opinion.

The last day of July saw the last lesson with Sean and his swim instructor, she has made Sean water safe and proficient and we can’t thank her enough!  Sean has had her since just before he turned 4.  It is her last summer at CSUSB before she goes off to bigger, better and more grand things.  Sean made her card and a key-chain and she posed for a photo.


I am so bloody grateful to my family, the family I was born with and that I married. Sunday Anonymous and I received a belated birthday gift since we’re 11 days apart. The gift blew our minds. I asked my brother if he knew what Dad and G-Jen had planned and he nodded. I then asked if he was cool with it and he told me that the item is more for his niece and nephew and he is right. It’s strange I feel like I’m a contestant on the Price is Right and we won.


I cooked, I made a ham, dressing,  cornbread muffins, biscuits, roasted butternut squash with garlic and parsley, green beans and sweet potato french fries.  I cooked for our family, Grandpa, Uncle Scott and his lovely girlfriend Leanne.  I am thankful that I was able to cook, also thankful that if I truly frakked up the meal there would still be food to serve (albeit frozen pizza).  It will be a month tomorrow that we lost my M-I-L, my surrogate mom, Sean and Evelyn’s grandma.  However, life goes on and we are living as she would want us to.  We are celebrating as she would command and demand that we do, much like my mother!  I have two framed pictures on my mantle.  One is of my Mother the other is of my Mother in law.  I glory the fact that I had these women in my life and I’m grieving that they are gone.  I am bloody grateful for my family, my husband and our children.  For my family and the people who mean so much to me I am truly thankful.

Will it Work?

My father is on his way to England to visit his sisters and brother, he’ll also be visiting his former mother-in-law.  There is a plan to get my Nan stamps and cards so she can write to people.  For so long she has bemoaned that no one talks to her, I’ve written before about this.  I don’t want to be mean but my Nan needs to have some responsibility not everything can be fobbed off on her age.  In fact yesterday my Dad reported that she called him!  So it seems she can, when properly motivated, do the things she says she can not do.  I remember telling my Nan the standard price of shipping a letter, one pound sixty-five pence to be exact.  I remember the laugh she gave, it gave the reply/tone of, “I don’t want to.”  I’m blank about whether or not my Dad’s idea will take flight, I’m truly asking the question of “will it work?”


Last week, I thought I had an ear infection.  My right ear felt plugged and I was very unsteady on my feet, later I had tinnitus (bad ringing/banging/clanging/screeching/whistling) it was so bad that I put in an iPod to drown it out.  I made an appointment to see my GP but I knew I couldn’t make it over the weekend.  So I went to Urgent Care, there the Doc found no fluid in my ear no sign of infection.  I was very confused.  He asked about a history of ear infections, I told him I had one infection when I was 26 and I had swimmers ear twice when I was kid.  I then mentioned that I do have a family history of Meniere’s Disease.  He ordered a hearing test right there and referred me.  His test showed I had some hearing loss I was floored.

Yesterday I went to the Audiologist. I had a hearing assessment first where the tech evaluated me and so far the ears look good.  Just a little loss in the left ear but it’s not that bad.  I then saw the Doc, he gave me a battery of tests.  Turns out he thinks I have a Eustachian tube problem since I’ve been a bit under the weather.  Plus it turns out that it takes 3 things to maintain balance.  Your eyes, your ears and part of your brain that can sense your limbs in space.  My brain hasn’t been damaged but since it is confused over limb placement since my injury.  My brain thinks my left leg/foot should be straight but the amount of times I’ve broken toes on my left foot tells me otherwise.  So my other 2 senses are working overtime and with my right ear compromised I’m dizzy.  So I’ve got some nasal steroids to hopefully open up my ear and we’ll check back in a couple of months.  The tinnitus is ongoing, last night I had it again  but my Husband has put a RainScape on an iPod for me and it muffles the noise and allows me to sleep.

Old Dog

The phrase can’t teach an old dog new tricks is rattling around my head.  The reason why is my Nan.  For years she put all the responsibilty on my granddad.  Even when he was alive she refused to do or that matter learn to do anything.  “Hey Nan why don’t you fill out that cheque for the electricity?”  “oh your granddad will do it”  I remember her getting ticked off that my Mom and Granddad were having a discussion on politics and she was left out.  My mom threw a newspaper at her, “here read it then you’ll know what were on about.”  Of course she didn’t read it.  Everything has always been the responsibility of someone else.  In November it will be a year that my granddad has died and she hasn’t done anything.  Granted her mind isn’t what it used to be but she is absolutely clueless about everything.

She wants me to buy birthday cards, anniversary cards forge them for her and send them.  She did say that she would reimburse me for it but that involves using the post office in the first place!  I told her No.  She retaliated with “I can’t go to the Post Office to get it weighed.” So I looked up the postage rates on the and gave her the postage for standard rates from the UK to the USA.  I got a, “We’ll see.”  Stamps and Cards are available at British Supermarkets along with bad DVD’S and button up shirts.  There are even post office slots scattered around.  She has lived in the same Cornish Village for nearly 25 years but everything is a fraking mystery to her.  My sister-in-law once used a great line regarding a records department, “You people are either lazy or stupid!”  I think the former describes my Nan she is lazy. I think it’s finally sinking in that people are not going to flock to her to take care of these needs and somethings she will have to do herself. 

I know she wasn’t always like this, in fact during WWII she worked in a factory and before that she had employment but after that it seems the world owes her everything and she let everybody know it.  I guess I’m a recovering enabler because until 2004 I let her get away with a lot.  In fact I contributed to her behaviour but not anymore.  I highly doubt I’ll receive a card from her but then again I never thought she would call me.  “I can’t use the phone, it’s too hard.” Well she figured out the phone in a hurry when she wanted to talk to me I had been calling her once a week and instead of calling her on a Monday I choose to call her on a different day.  She panicked and called me Tuesday morning figuring out the phone all by herself!!