Last night was a t-ball game. It was fortunate to be at 7:30 in the evening so it was a tad cooler but unfortunate since this meant it was after nine before we got home. It was funny in sad sort of way since Moms and their moms were there to watch the game but all they did was bicker. They fought about phone calls and who does what it got so bad that I actually said, “It’s times like this I’m glad my mom’s dead”
Now first let me get one thing straight I am NOT glad my mother is dead. I miss her and my mother-in-law every single day. What prompted me to say what I said was I couldn’t believe that these women were fighting! Also it made me think if my mom and MIL had lived longer would we have turned into this? Was is something that progressively happened? Like a body breaking down would a relationship break down too? Many of the people laughed and one woman asked me for more information of why I said that.
You see last friday I had talked with other moms about Mother’s day and as soon as I said, “Do you have plans for mother’s day” their faces fell and shoulders tensed. One woman began, “My kids get carsick real easy but my MIL wants us to drive up the mountain to see her. Now do we stop twenty times to let the kids adjust and have it be triple the amount of time or do we just give them barf bags and let them be miserable?”
Another woman, “We’re having a party which means I am throwing the party. More work for me.”
Yet another woman, “We’re seeing my mom. I don’t know why she can’t come and see us…I’m a mom too you know!”
There were more comments from other women about so called evil mother in laws, and about calling siblings to pawn off their own mothers and other things. This has lingered in my brain and last night at the t-ball game it made me blurt out that ridiculous statement. My mom told me long before I had gotten married and had children that she would make no demands that we see her if and when I had children. She did not want to impose the way her mother did. I still can remember every sunday we went to Nan and Granddads house. It was the unofficial yet expected thing. My MIL was also a wonderful woman and also made no demands to see Sean. In fact even when she was sick we always asked her if it was ok for a visit.
I would give almost anything to have them both back for 10 minutes to show them all the things Sean and Evelyn have done but I know I don’t have that option. I also hope that if they are still both with us still in some form they understood my intent which was enjoy your parents–stop bickering about the small stuff.