In 2007 I changed my name. It was the second time I had done so. The first time was 2003 when I married. 4 years later I changed it again when I became a Mom. It is rare that I hear my given name. For the past 8 years I have been an at-home mom.
Tomorrow, is something new. I will have both children in school. I will drop both of them off and pick them up. I’ve written before about landmarks, tomorrow will be one of those landmarks in my life. I hope with this change that other landmarks will appear on the horizon. I’m also trying not to get ahead of myself. Yes, I will have time alone but I won’t be able to paint my entire house in that time. I need to be rational and logical in my approach to things. Many of my peers have said that when both of their children were in school they would celebrate with champagne. I always said, “On that day, I’m going to be able to fold laundry in 20 minutes instead of two hours!”
I don’t actually know what tomorrow will bring. Will I increase my domestic goddess powers? Will I find a part time employment? Will I devote more time to volunteering at the school? I honestly don’t know. All I do know is that tomorrow will be different.
When Anonymous and first married we had mish-mash of items in our apartment. We soon bought things together to fill our apartment and then our first home. One item I particularly enjoyed was our coffee table. It had slots for magazines and remotes. The top was kept clear save for some votive candles and drinking glasses (on a coaster of course). Having our first child and breaking my leg necessitated the removal of the coffee table. We had in the garage before a giving it to a neighbour who had expressed desire in it. Another item which was removed from our home was stemware. We had a few pieces yet with children and moving to a new pieces were lost. For awhile we had these stemless plastic type wine glasses but we never really used them.
On Friday we went out and purchased a new coffee table and stemware. It’s nothing fancy, the table is not some great piece of carpentry made from rare fallen wood. The stemware is not hand-blown by some artisan. However, the return of these items has made me feel that I am once again an adult. Our children are old/tall enough not to run headlong into the furniture. Also they understand that plenty of other rooms are designated for play. After 8 years we have a coffee table and I feel genuine happiness. It’s true what is said about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. With the base needs met the wistful wishes of a coffee table can be fulfilled.
Now perhaps I’m just being nostalgic but the 80’s had some fine music. Going through my library and listened to Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads. As kid I thought it was just a funny song, now I listen to it and think of people going through a midlife crisis. I’m 35, mid-life is my age. I don’t mind being halfway to 70 in fact I like it! Yet sometimes I find myself asking, “How, did I get here?”
My blog posts have been wan of late, (all right it’s been nearly six months). It’s not that things are boring I just find myself giving the excuse of no time. That is a bit of lie, I do have time I just don’t apply it to this. There are a lot of Mommy blogs out there and I don’t want to become another woman bemoaning and praising child-rearing in one breath all of the time. It’s strange that while sometimes aspects of my life infuriate me (this happens to all of us) there are people that would love to have this.
A woman I knew in a Company I danced with is having fertility issues. It’s such a benign term, fertility issues. As I read about her experiences I’m struck by her deep longing. I’m sure she has asked, “How, did I get here?”
I do hope her and her husband’s journey is not to fraught with heartbreak.
In January of this year I signed up with a running club called the Moon Joggers. Runners from all over the world are banding together to run miles in order for us to reach the planet Venus. I pledged 500 miles and today I was able to reach that goal.
I’m glad I have the kids with me for they are able to bear witness to some of the things I see. One morning I woke up and went the kitchen for coffee when a brown blur launched over our brick wall and into the front yard. I was so taken aback I blinked hard and wondered if I was still asleep. The brown blur then coalesced into a form–a coyote. I went the front window where the coyote was just hanging out on the lawn. I shouted for Sean to come over and see (to confirm I wasn’t crazy). It then jogged off the lawn across our driveway.
One day we were coming home from an outing when I noticed a man at a corner waiting patiently for his turn to cross the street. He had a bike with him that seemed odd. It then occurred to me that it was half a bike. “It’s unicycle” I blurted. The kids then asked, “What’s a unicycle?” and I was able to point.
Lastly I was driving Sean back from the dentist. I was about to change lanes so I checked my mirror when I caught sight of something very large and flapping. The car passed me and on top there was a huge stuffed gorilla So with unicycles and a giant stuffed toys the carnival must be in town!! Don’t take my word for it, I have pictures.
Tomorrow school will begin again officially ending the summer break. It is fitting today that the skies have clouded over, it is windy and and sporadically raining. This is good visual to the kids that tomorrow will not be a day of constant play. Evie will be going to preschool twice a week and I will be lucky enough to have a good 3 hours solid block sans children. I already have my day planned out. It doesn’t involve bon bons or daytime television. Get ready for this, I’m going to scrub my bathtub!
Scrub it with an industrial brush and get all the bits that I know I miss when I usually clean it. I will be able to unload the dishwasher in less than 20 minutes and fold a basket of laundry in under 3 hours. I’m looking forward to doing chores uninterrupted and making a market with my list and actually buying everything on the list! Of course there should be sometime left over for me to read a chapter of a book. I have been dreaming of this for seven years.
Just this past weekend something happened that hasn’t occurred in seven years. Sean and Evie spent the night with at Ahouseholdkate’s house. It was the first time that Anonymous and I had a night, a full night, from sundown to sunrise with children. We were able to watch a show we wanted to watch on the the telly with the volume up. It all felt very strange and surreal.
Everyone uses the phrase, “It’s gets better.” when referring to children or other situations. My stock retort to this is, “When does it get good?” I think things might be shifting in that direction.
Last night we had Ahouseholdkate and her family over and the kids got to play with some glow-bracelets. This morning they had died out. The kids were still playing with them pretending they were rings to toss and so forth. Evelyn then marches up to me and asks if I can clean her tongue. I ask why and she tells me “it’s orange”. Alarm bells sound in my head so calmly I ask, “What did you eat?”
She answers back, “a glow stick.” Yet again I call poison control and yet again I get the greatest help. Apparently this is common during fourth of July and Halloween. They are non-toxic and foul tasting to full ingestion is rare. Have them rinse and spit, they might have a little numbness but all is well. Once again poison control is on my list of loves and if you don’t have the number programmed into your phone or taped to fridge DO IT NOW!!!!