Now perhaps I’m just being nostalgic but the 80’s had some fine music. Going through my library and listened to Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads. As kid I thought it was just a funny song, now I listen to it and think of people going through a midlife crisis. I’m 35, mid-life is my age. I don’t mind being halfway to 70 in fact I like it! Yet sometimes I find myself asking, “How, did I get here?”
My blog posts have been wan of late, (all right it’s been nearly six months). It’s not that things are boring I just find myself giving the excuse of no time. That is a bit of lie, I do have time I just don’t apply it to this. There are a lot of Mommy blogs out there and I don’t want to become another woman bemoaning and praising child-rearing in one breath all of the time. It’s strange that while sometimes aspects of my life infuriate me (this happens to all of us) there are people that would love to have this.
A woman I knew in a Company I danced with is having fertility issues. It’s such a benign term, fertility issues. As I read about her experiences I’m struck by her deep longing. I’m sure she has asked, “How, did I get here?”
I do hope her and her husband’s journey is not to fraught with heartbreak.
In January of this year I signed up with a running club called the Moon Joggers. Runners from all over the world are banding together to run miles in order for us to reach the planet Venus. I pledged 500 miles and today I was able to reach that goal.
I’m glad I have the kids with me for they are able to bear witness to some of the things I see. One morning I woke up and went the kitchen for coffee when a brown blur launched over our brick wall and into the front yard. I was so taken aback I blinked hard and wondered if I was still asleep. The brown blur then coalesced into a form–a coyote. I went the front window where the coyote was just hanging out on the lawn. I shouted for Sean to come over and see (to confirm I wasn’t crazy). It then jogged off the lawn across our driveway.
One day we were coming home from an outing when I noticed a man at a corner waiting patiently for his turn to cross the street. He had a bike with him that seemed odd. It then occurred to me that it was half a bike. “It’s unicycle” I blurted. The kids then asked, “What’s a unicycle?” and I was able to point.
Lastly I was driving Sean back from the dentist. I was about to change lanes so I checked my mirror when I caught sight of something very large and flapping. The car passed me and on top there was a huge stuffed gorilla So with unicycles and a giant stuffed toys the carnival must be in town!! Don’t take my word for it, I have pictures.
Tomorrow school will begin again officially ending the summer break. It is fitting today that the skies have clouded over, it is windy and and sporadically raining. This is good visual to the kids that tomorrow will not be a day of constant play. Evie will be going to preschool twice a week and I will be lucky enough to have a good 3 hours solid block sans children. I already have my day planned out. It doesn’t involve bon bons or daytime television. Get ready for this, I’m going to scrub my bathtub!
Scrub it with an industrial brush and get all the bits that I know I miss when I usually clean it. I will be able to unload the dishwasher in less than 20 minutes and fold a basket of laundry in under 3 hours. I’m looking forward to doing chores uninterrupted and making a market with my list and actually buying everything on the list! Of course there should be sometime left over for me to read a chapter of a book. I have been dreaming of this for seven years.
Just this past weekend something happened that hasn’t occurred in seven years. Sean and Evie spent the night with at Ahouseholdkate’s house. It was the first time that Anonymous and I had a night, a full night, from sundown to sunrise with children. We were able to watch a show we wanted to watch on the the telly with the volume up. It all felt very strange and surreal.
Everyone uses the phrase, “It’s gets better.” when referring to children or other situations. My stock retort to this is, “When does it get good?” I think things might be shifting in that direction.
Last night we had Ahouseholdkate and her family over and the kids got to play with some glow-bracelets. This morning they had died out. The kids were still playing with them pretending they were rings to toss and so forth. Evelyn then marches up to me and asks if I can clean her tongue. I ask why and she tells me “it’s orange”. Alarm bells sound in my head so calmly I ask, “What did you eat?”
She answers back, “a glow stick.” Yet again I call poison control and yet again I get the greatest help. Apparently this is common during fourth of July and Halloween. They are non-toxic and foul tasting to full ingestion is rare. Have them rinse and spit, they might have a little numbness but all is well. Once again poison control is on my list of loves and if you don’t have the number programmed into your phone or taped to fridge DO IT NOW!!!!
End of the world? Not so much. In a little over a week it will be end of the year at Sean’s school and the 73 days of summer vacation will commence. I’m looking forward to it, Evie misses him when he’s at school and I do too. Now we can have days of science experiments and swim lessons. Last year I had my gallbladder out and on the 1st anniversary of that event I found myself back in the emergency room. This time it wasn’t me. Anonymous had been playing basketball and sustained a concussion. Dealing with a 6 foot 3, 13 and half stone man with short term memory loss was entertaining.
He was treated and released and I was instructed to give him neurological checks. It was hilarious. For the first couple of checks I had to wake him every two hours and ask simple questions, such as what’s your name or when is my birthday, which he answered readily. Around 4 in the morning I guess we were all dopey and wanted sleep. I nudged anonymous and asked, “Do you know where you are?” He mumbled, “Uh-huh”. I laughed at this before asking correctly, “What’s our address?”
He’s recovered since then and I am thankful. Our lives may not be filled with glamorous trips to exotic places but our lives are full. As a habit we all go to pick Evie up from preschool. On one such trip home we were stopped at a red light when a man in a black car came barreling around a corner way too fast. I guess he was desperate to leave Cal State or was trying to be a bad ass. He couldn’t negotiate the bend and his car came up on the brick median causing a whole panel of his car to be ripped off. Behind him a young man in a white car saw it too and wore a look of “You idiot bro!”
Sean and I were on the side closest to the action. We couldn’t believe it! I said to Anonymous, “Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?” Whilst Sean said, “Wow Cool! Did you see that car?”
Today I encountered one of those milestones. Sean and Anonymous went to drop off an item for a collective yard sale for the Children’s Center. The woman was a bit upset since her parent(s) had recently died. Sean got upset at the thought of death and came to me for comfort. At first he thought he was the only one that was going to die. I held his hand and told him, “Everyone, everyone is going to die. You, me, your sister, your teacher, the garbage man, the guy who cooks burgers…everyone.” He laughed at bit and I could see he was feeling a bit better. I then told him in terms he could understand, “It’s like Minecraft, you will want to get the farthest you can, do the best you can do before a zombie pig gets you or you fall in lava.” At this he wiped his tears and went off to play with his sister.
We dealt with this topic before when Anonymous’s mother was dying. He asked where she went and why she wasn’t here. We told him about death in terms he could understand at that time. Children have questions and we as parents need to answer them. I just hope I can answer all the questions that come.