fluid transported in xylem cells

I am referring to sap.  Today was Sean’s promotion/graduation from Kindergarten.  I watched as he came down in his construction paper mortar board and received his scroll.  Tomorrow is the last day of school until August when he will become a grader.    Some parents were teary, nostalgic and wishing this day hadn’t come.  They wanted their babies back and lamented the passage of time.  One mom was near tears, “He’s growing up.”  I just replied, “That’s what kids do, we don’t have the suspended animation that Star Trek does.”

Now I understand the Peter Pan syndrome of not wanting to grow up.  I also understand that as little children we as parents have a tad more control in what our children do or get into.

For me I had been looking forward to this day since I first dropped Sean off all those months ago.  I love watching him learn and grow.  I can’t wait for the next thing for him to master.  I want to see what responsibilities he takes on.  What I remember most about the first day of school was how Sean confidently strolled through the gate and how Evelyn howled when he did so and sat on the cement and cried and cried.  Just yesterday morning as Sean went through the gate she yelled, “Bye Sean” and marched toward the car. I must admit I got a little choked up when he was singing along with his classmates.

What I said last night

Last night was a t-ball game.  It was fortunate to be at 7:30 in the evening so it was a tad cooler but unfortunate since this meant it was after nine before we got home.  It was funny in sad sort of way since Moms and their moms were there to watch the game but all they did was bicker.  They fought about phone calls and who does what it got so bad that I actually said, “It’s times like this I’m glad my mom’s dead”

Now first let me get one thing straight I am NOT glad my mother is dead.  I miss her and my mother-in-law every single day.  What prompted me to say what I said was I couldn’t believe that these women were fighting!  Also it made me think if my mom and MIL had lived longer would we have turned into this?  Was is something that progressively happened? Like a body breaking down would a relationship break down too?  Many of the people laughed and one woman asked me for more information of why I said that.

You see last friday  I had talked with other moms about Mother’s day and as soon as I said, “Do you have plans for mother’s day” their faces fell and shoulders tensed.  One woman began, “My kids get carsick real easy but my MIL wants us to drive up the mountain to see her.  Now do we stop twenty times to let the kids adjust and have it be triple the amount of time or do we just give them barf bags and let them be miserable?”

Another woman, “We’re having a party which means I am throwing the party.  More work for me.”

Yet another woman, “We’re seeing my mom.  I don’t know why she can’t come and see us…I’m a mom too you know!”

There were more comments from other women about so called evil mother in laws, and about calling siblings to pawn off their own mothers and other things.  This has lingered in my brain and last night at the t-ball game it made me blurt out that ridiculous statement.  My mom told me long before I had gotten married and had children that she would make no demands that we see her if and when I had children.  She did not want to impose the way her mother did.  I still can remember every sunday we went to Nan and Granddads house.  It was the unofficial yet expected thing.  My MIL was also a wonderful woman and also made no demands to see Sean.  In fact even when she was sick we always asked her if it was ok for a visit.

I would give almost anything to have them both back for 10 minutes to show them all the things Sean and Evelyn have done but I know I don’t have that option.  I also hope that if they are still both with us still in some form they understood my intent which was enjoy your parents–stop bickering about the small stuff.

Let Them

On Tuesday Sean went on his first field trip to the LA Zoo.  In preparation for this I bought him a funsaver (disposable camera).  I gave him a quick lessen on how to use it, encouraged him to use it at the zoo and sent him on his way.  Another parent/guardian did the same thing but was disheartened when the pictures came back blurry or of trees or the cement.  This guardian actually wanted the chaperone to mind the camera.  In the staging area as it were before they boarded he actually gave the camera to the chaperone and admonished, “Here is his camera …don’t give it to him”  This got me thinking.  Was the camera actually his (the child’s) or was it the chaperones?  Was it the chaperones responsibility to read the kids mind and take pictures or ask constantly “Want a picture of that?” while minding three other wards?  Now by no means were Sean’s pictures rivaling David Hockney’s the point is he used his camera and took the pictures he wanted to take.  And I remembered my mother’s words, she was a photographer in the RAF, “Out of one bloody roll you get one good picture.”  Also most of the participants on the field trip were 5.  I don’t know many 5-6 year olds that can contain their excitement or retain rigid commands for lengthy periods of time without having supervision.

I’m not advocating for complete apathy when it comes to rearing children nor do I want all parents/guardian to smother the life/creativity/will out of a child but there has to be a middle-ground   Where they are free to make their own mistakes and take their own bloody pictures!!

New Again

We now have a new normal.  The damage from the January break-in has been repaired. The anxiety on all has been lessened.  There is no longer an exterior door in Sean’s room.  The kitchen window has been replaced and the front door no longer has the markings from the idiot who tried to get it.

Training

When I had my post operative appointment my general surgeon told me I could start training for a marathon if I wished.  It got me thinking about the last time I ran.  I loved running and I stopped when I was big pregnant with Sean and haven’t run since then.  Wednesday I went for my first run in six years.  Felt pretty good, I woke up early to run this morning but right after I got out of bed Evelyn got up so I’ll run tonight instead.  I don’t know what my ultimate goal is, I have no clue whether I will participate in a 5k or some-other run.  I think what I am after is the peace that comes with a run.  Yes, I’m mindful of traffic and other people but there is this clearing of thoughts from your head, it’s quite nice.     As for Evelyn she went to Kaiser yesterday, for the past couple of days she has mentioned that her ear hurt so I took her in.  Beginnings of an infection so we are taking care of it.  

Much better

On the eighth of April I had my sixth surgery in which my gallbladder was removed.  My beloved brother took me so Anonymous could watch the kids and take Sean to school.  The procedure was done quick!  It took longer for my brother to pick up my painkillers from the pharmacy.  Its now been a week!

Karma

So we went out this morning to Stater Bros. for provisions.  Evelyn was quite happy in the trolley and Sean was being good too.  A gentleman had four Rockstar drinks so I let him go ahead of me.  He was hesitant, “Are you sure?” I said, “yeah, pay it forward”.  The lady ahead also let the guy go ahead of her.  Another lane opened up and the lady ahead of me went to aisle 5.  The guy put his drinks down and the lady who was checking out was about 6 dollars short on her groceries and couldn’t buy her detergent.  The Rockstar guy said, “I’ll pay for it” and he did he then added, “We’ve all been there.” He’s right, I remember being a kid and I was 5 cents short buying swimming goggles and a lollypop for my brother.  A woman in line said, “I have five pennies for her” I never forgotten it.  Nice to see good deeds going on especially during this festive week.